A walk home from school

The opportunity for doing mischief is found a hundred times a day, and of doing good once in a year. Voltaire 


I tend to find the above statement to be true. As young bucks in Happy Valley Utah we had to get creative to find ways to make mischief, but we sure did. More than often these little experiences happened spontaneously. Like the one time my friend through my t-shirt in a mud puddle, and we decided to throw it away instead of showing my mother.


We even found some good mischief walking to and from school. We actually developed quite the interesting way to pass the time. There was a large walnut tree at the bottom of this hill that we would walk up on the way home from school. On our way up the hill we would collect walnuts and throw them under the tires of passing cars. The noise that was created when these walnuts were thrown was quite astonishing. To young boys our joy could not be more full...to see the concern portrayed on the faces of the unsuspecting drivers. Most of them wondering whether or not their tire had actually exploded. 

One day our mischief almost turned into a misdemeanor. Everyone has a wild pitch every now and then. This day just happened to be mine. One of my throws just got out of hand, and instead of the walnut rolling safely under the tire it hit the passenger side door smack dab in the center. The sound must have been deafening for the people in the car. I wish I could accurately describe the livid expression on the irritated car-pool mother driving the car. I honestly believed in my heart that I was going to lose my life at 9 years old. She ended up just yelling at us for several seconds and threatened to call the cops. I always wonder what would have happened if she would have called the police station on three pre-teen children. I personally would have chuckled if I was the operator that took that call. It was terrifying for me at the time. The best of part of the story is that we didn't stop after that car. In fact we continued throwing walnuts at the very next car!

50 Nuggets

Have you ever been an employee working late at an eating establishment? If you have then you must know how crappy it is to have someone come in during the wee hours of the night and order something completely ridiculous. The man working the McDonalds in Logan Utah at precisely 1 in the morning September 13th 2010 had one of these experiences. My good friend Brady and I got the munchies at around 1 in the morning as usual. Sadly nothing in Logan Utah stays open on a Sunday night after 5:30. So we had to get creative and we went to Mickey D's. When we got there we noticed out of the corner of our eyes a tempting little sign. It said 50 McNuggets only 10 dollars. I looked my good friend in the eyes and in that very moment I knew that we were going to get it. The only way I can describe it is when you kiss a girl or boy for the first time and you look each other in the eyes and you just know it's going to happen. That's how the nugget feeling was. I just knew.

When we pulled up for the first time all we heard on the intercom was that we couldn't pay with a credit card. This wasn't going to stop us. So we went to the nearest ATM....We showed those posers. When we came back we promptly ordered fifty processed chicken chunks with fries and cokes to boot. The man was not happy to say the least. I think it was mostly because he had a line of 5 cars at the drive and he was the only one working.

He must have been so annoyed when we pulled up to window and saw how happy our faces were. It took a little while for the nuggets to get out of the microwave, but we were overjoyed when he got to the window. As he was handing the overflowing bag to Brady the thing ripped and nuggets went all over the place. The first thing that Brady says is "Oh it's cool" As if we're going to pick up the nuggets all off the floor and eat them anyway. When he looked at how wide spread the nuggets were and how dirty the ground was he looked up at the worker and said, "Yeah we might need to get some more" That man made us 100 chicken nuggets that night. I don't know how many nuggets we ran over on the way out but it sounded like at least 37.  I felt sorry for the man, but I was laughing my buns off. The good news is that we ended up eating all the food  between just two of us. It was men vs. food and we won baby.

He got what he deserved

I once spent two years living in the little country of Denmark. For those of you that know absolutely nothing about the country no they do not speak dutch there they speak Danish. Also for your information they speak Dutch in Holland. That's a common misconception that is starting to get on my nerves because Dutch is a terrible language almost like a kid with a massive lisp trying to speak while hacking up a lung definitely not a pleasant sound. While in Denmark I spent many days riding around public transportation much like the one depicted in the picture directly above the text. Many Danes choose to take the bus to work because it is more  efficient and affordable. I also believe that many Danes use it as an excuse to feel more "Christian" almost as if they are helping there fellowing being by going green. I'm not sure how they came to this conclusion, but if it makes them sleep at nights so be it. 

One thing that must be realized about the Danish people is that they are a very orderly people. They like everything to be in it's place and surprises aren't commonly welcomed. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but as a whole the Danish people like to be comfortable in their safe little lives. One faithful day while riding on one of these buses our bus driver must not have been paying attention and had a little blunder. He turned the wrong way on his assigned but route. You would have thought that George Bush had been elected as the Danish Prime Minister with the uproar that they put out about this wrong turn. Everyone besides me and one of my good friends put in their two sense about how stupid this man was for turning the wrong way.

Of course the man's mistake was corrected as soon as possible, but this required a three-point turn in a busy intersection. A few passengers on the bus decided that they would go out and direct traffic so that the beastly vehicle could turn around safely. The driver was obviously flustered because he started to pull away before these helpful passengers could reenter the bus. Yet another yelling session happened as the irritated people on the bus petitioned the bus driver to stop. He did stop and I will never forget what happened when the passengers entered the bus again. 

One man who had been left behind was extremely agitated and that was evident. His face was a shade of magenta as he yelled a stream of cuss words at the driver. I felt sorry for the man, but he did leave people who were already late for their jobs behind. As soon as the man had finished giving the driver a piece of his mind the already shaken driver proceeded to slam his foot on the gas pedal. The vehicle was then propelled in motion and the furious man was immediately thrown off his feet and his face skidded down the aisle of the bus. His glasses and suitcase were flown from his person, and when he rose to his feet long black marks were on his white shirt and pants. He was too angry for words at this point. I sincerely believed that he was going to explode. An audible gasp was emitted from all those in attendance, immediately following the gasp were spatters of laughter, mine included. It was just a little gift from above to see that tyrant get what he deserved.