You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid

Most all of us are familiar with that lovable holiday classic A Christmas Story. If not I have posted my favorite line from that movie right here. The main character in this flic is named Ralphie and all he wants for Christmas is a Red Rider BB Gun. Repeatedly throughout the film people remind him that he's going to shoot his eye out, and that it is much too dangerous to own a BB gun. I have a story that confirms all of the warnings the people give Ralpie throughout this movie.

When I was probably twelve to fourteen years of age right smack dab in the middle of puberty. If I remember right I owned a Red Rider BB gun just like Ralpie. My brother, cousin, and I were having trouble finding any birds, and on top of that we couldn't hit them when we found them anyway. So we decided to get a little creative. I remember being dared to shoot myself in the foot. So I did it. One thing you should know about me is that when I get dared to do something, I usually do it. Getting shot in the foot was surprisingly less painful then I imagined so I immediately turned to my baby brother Preston and dared him to do it.

Another thing you should know about me is that I was somewhat of a hellian in my younger years, and I am not proud of what I am about to write but it happened. Preston refused to be shot in the foot, and this got me angry. So I told him that he had ten seconds to run or I was going to shoot him. He didn't believe me for the first five seconds, but then I took aim and he started booking it. By the time I got to ten seconds he was on top of a large boulder, and I pulled the trigger. My aim was true and I hit him in the small of his back. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. All I can remember is looking over at my cousin as he was doubled over in fits of laughter. So for all you parents out there considering buying your preteen a BB gun I would reconsider. I feel remorse for this unfortunate event even though it is to this day one of my fondest memories. Merry Christmas!