My brother Preston is an interesting individual. Don't get me wrong I love the boy. Preston and I would be comparable to Mario and Luigi, to Batman and Robin (I'm Batman of course), and to Ricky Ricardo and Lucy (I would be Ricky). All of these dynamic duos had something in common. The sidekick in the story is always a push over. My brother Preston is somewhat of a pushover. For example if there was only one green otterpop left and the the other was a purple I would always get the green. That's just how it's forever worked out in the Francis household. This is a story where my brother Preston was pushed to the limits and found himself halfway out of a nine story hotel building.
It was my senior year of high school, and it is customary for seniors to go on what is referred to as a senior trip. A couple of my buddies were on the lacrosse team with me and we decided that it would be chipper to go on a trip to Baltimore Maryland to watch the NCAA championships of lacrosse. The details become fuzzy to me as to why my brother came along, but nevertheless he was there. We will forever be grateful that he came on the trip after what happened one faithful night in our hotel room. I remember that someone made a side comment that it would be absolutely hilarious if someone were to poop out the window. This must have sparked something in one of my good friends mind because his eyes immediately turned to my baby brother Preston. He said with a wry smile, "Preston you should poop out the window."
His immediate reaction was absolutely not. However with a little coaxing his pants were at his ankles with his bare bungus hanging out of the 9 story window. So many things were happening at once that conjuring the memory in my mind is a little tough, I do remember a few things however. I had a firm hold on Preston's right arm and leg while my other buddy had a tight hold on the left side. To insure the safety of my brother we also had another man harnessing him with a leather belt strapped around his waste. If you can picture this in your mind you will realize how hard it was to hold him in a good pooping position. I was laughing so hard I thought that I was going to poop my pants, and that I was going to have to switch Preston places. While the three of us were meticulously holding the pantless boy up another friend was taking pictures from an adjacent window.
If you are a young child reading this I would stop for you other people I apologize for the graphic detail. When Preston had finished his business we assumed that the poop had fallen the nine stories to the pavement below. How wrong we were. It barely made it one story and hit the window ledge in the hotel room directly underneath ours. Of course this sent our group of friends into a frenzy. One of my buddies even suggested that we lie to the people below us and feed them some story that we were hammered drunk. We ended up just letting it be. The window did have to stay shut the rest of the night. It was quite a pungent odor. Like I said my brother Preston is a push over.
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